In a recent post I mentioned “the American religion”. Pondering this a bit, I came to the conclusion that I really think The American Religion is salvation by way of human romantic relationship.
It seems that sometime in the middle ages, relationships based on pragmatism gave way to the idea of Chivalrous Love or Courtly Love (not to be confused with Kurt’s widow). Knights during peacetime quickly became listless, so they would choose an unattainable muse to pursue in a strange cat-and-mouse-style game. This mistress would often be married or engaged, and since standards of decency still hung around, to actually engage in physical sensuality would be frowned upon. Instead, the mistress was to be practically worshiped from afar, showered with gifts and affection, but always with a certain caution lest actual companionship should be contemplated.
This practice seems to echo in modern society, in that our culture highly values charged eroticism that is strangely removed. It’s as if we want the initial rush of romance to last indefinitely, so we flitter all about a relationship without actually engaging in it. To truly know someone deeply can tarnish any gilt image we have created of them, so we choose to skim along the surface.
The American Religion teaches that romantic love is the highest good, and that the emptiness one feels inside which in prior times was described as a “God-shaped hole” can be filled with the right human, your “soul mate”. That’s the catch, however; there is only one “right” person in the whole world for you, and you must find them to be truly fulfilled. If you experience anything but ecstatic freedom in your current relationship, it’s clear your soul mate is still beyond the horizon.
Of course, this all sounds somewhat silly, and most people intellectually see through it. However, many Americans, maybe even most, live as though it were true. We are a fairly self-centered country, indeed, but we find escape from our inner vacuum through the idea of someone outside of ourselves pulling us into really living.
Its interesting how we can’t escape our nature as created beings designed to worship a perfect Lord.
